There is nothing doing at present in the caretaking way for Mrs. Dowey,
our hostess; but this does not damp her, caretaking being only to such
as she an extra financially and a halo socially. That is why we are now reporting Friday Street. There is nothing else in her abode (which we now see to contain
four rooms--kitchen, pantry, bedroom, and bathroom) that is absolutely
a surprise; but it is full of 'bits,' every one of which has been paid
ready money for, and gloated over and tended until it has become part of
its owner. They have been extremely merry, and never were four hard-worked old
ladies who deserved it better. There is no intention on their part to consider peace terms until
a decisive victory has been gained in the field (Sarah Ann Dowey), until
the Kaiser is put to the right-about (Emma Mickleham), and singing very
small (Amelia Twymley). MRS. TWYMLEY. 'I say it is so.' 'I say it may be so.' MRS. TWYMLEY. The others are stung. MRS. TWYMLEY. 'We all have them.' ALL, brightening, 'It is. You may say so.' That's your weak point, Mrs. Mickleham.' 'You don't understand properly about trench warfare. 'That's the
river Sommy. The others purse their lips. MRS. TWYMLEY, with terrible meaning, 'We'll change the subject. You tell me?' MRS. TWYMLEY, with the touch of haughtiness that comes of great topics,
'The plain smock has come in again, with silk lacing, giving that
charming chic effect.' MRS. TWYMLEY, sailing into the Empyrean, 'Lady Dolly Kanister was seen
conversing across the railings in a dainty _de jou_.' MRS. TWYMLEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. Dowey.' 'Freely granted.' MRS. TWYMLEY. It's not
their war.' MRS. TWYMLEY. All his.' MRS. TWYMLEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Generally.' 'Invariable.' 'Every time.' MRS. TWYMLEY, doing her best, 'A short man, I should say, judging by
yourself.' 'Most certainly. His
choice is the Buffs, same as my Percy's.' MRS. TWYMLEY, magnanimously, 'Give me the R.H.A. and you can keep all
the rest.' MRS. TWYMLEY. MR. WILLINGS, waving aside the chairs, 'I thank you. But not at all. Friends, I have news.' MRS. TWYMLEY. MR. WILLINGS. 'I tell you at once that all is well. Dowey.' She stares. MR. WILLINGS. 'Now, now, good news doesn't kill.' MRS. TWYMLEY. 'We're glad, Mrs. Dowey.' MR. WILLINGS. 'Quite sure. He has arrived.' MR. WILLINGS. 'He is. I have spoken to him.' MR. WILLINGS, marvelling more and more as he unfolds his tale, 'Ladies,
it is quite a romance, I was in the----' he looks around cautiously, but
he knows that they are all to be trusted--'in the Church Army quarters
in Central Street, trying to get on the track of one or two of our
missing men. MR. WILLINGS. I asked.' I asked. "Dowey," he said.' 'I declare. I do declare.' MR. WILLINGS, showing how the thing was done, with the help of a chair,
'I put my hand on his shoulder as it might be thus. MR. WILLINGS. MR. WILLINGS. MRS. TWYMLEY. MR. WILLINGS, whose wild life has brought him into contact with the
strangest people, 'The Scotch, Mrs. Twymley, express their emotions
differently from us. MR. WILLINGS, gloriously, 'He has come. He is up there. MR. WILLINGS. 'I also am going instantly.' MRS. TWYMLEY, pail and mop in hand, 'I would thank none for their
company if my Alfred was at the door.' MR. WILLINGS. When he does speak, it is to jeer at
her. She nods again; still she dare not look up, but she is
admiring his legs. She clutches them. 'They're all I have.' He returns to irony. She beats her arms. 'I wanted it to be my war too.' 'You haven't gave it to me yet.' 'You could drink the
tea while you was blazing away. 'Is there?' 'Not me. 'I'm more on my knees.' 'That's where you should be to me.' 'Stop it. Go on, you accomplished liar.' 'It's true that my name is Dowey.' I have an appointment.' It didn't affect me. 'No.' 'Now, now, woman.' He is moving about now in better
humour, and, meeting the loaf in his stride, he cuts a slice from it. 'How did you guess the _K_ in my name stood for Kenneth?' 'Umpha.' 'Or did
you?' Not a bit of it. He returns to sarcasm, 'I hope you're pleased with me now you see me.' 'Glasgow.' 'Both living?' 'Ay.' 'Naturally.' 'Who?' 'Not me.' 'You surprises me. A beauty, no doubt?' 'You may be sure.' He tries the jam. 'Tell me more about her, man.' 'Not me.' 'No, I thank you.' Tell me, oh, tell me, mister.' Was it you?' 'Oh, hell! Give me some tea.' she murmurs. 'No, no.' 'Yes, yes.' _Ave atque vale_.' 'You're a proper man to look at.' 'Who?' Pass the cake.' 'Not in this world.' 'Kenneth, we could come back by Paris!' We have a song about it.' I must be
stepping.' 'Where are you living?' He sighs. 'That's the question. They'll take me in. 'That's my quandorum too, Kenneth.' 'Kenneth, I've heard that the thing a man on leave longs for more than
anything else is a bed with sheets, and a bath.' He goes. He returns, impressed. 'You could do yourself there pretty, half at a time.' 'Me?' He snorts. 'Oh, is there!' 'Kenneth, look!' He thrills. That's the dodge we need in the trenches.' 'That's your bed, Kenneth.' He grins at her. 'You queer old divert. he! he! he!' 'I tell you, I'm the commonest kind of man.' 'Yes, you are. It was just because
they wanted my shirt.' I surrounded them.' 'Kenneth, you're just my ideal.' 'Old lady, if you really want me, I'll bide.' 'Yes, Kenneth.' 'Yes, yes,' handsomely, 'I leave my kit in pledge.' 'I promise. 'What is it, Kenneth?' 'The theatre. 'Kenneth, tell me this instant what you mean. Don't keep me on the
jumps.' He turns her round. 'No, It couldn't be done.' 'Not in this, of course. 'Ay, ay.' * * * * *
One evening a few days later Mrs. Twymley and Mrs. Mickleham are in Mrs.
Dowey's house, awaiting that lady's return from some fashionable
dissipation. They have undoubtedly been discussing the war, for the
first words we catch are:
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'I tell you flat, Amelia, I bows no knee to junkerdom.' MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Speaking for myself, Amelia, not me. MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Same here. MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Is that so?' 'I have no idea.' After all,
she is in her best. 'No,' icily. They
are at the theatre again.' MRS. TWYMLEY. 'The same errand brought us.' They have no intention of telling her what their presents are, but the
secret leaps from them. 'So is mine.' MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Mine too.' MRS. TWYMLEY. 'So has mine.' Mine is Exquisytos.' MRS. TWYMLEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. She is dressed up to the nines, there is no doubt
about it. Ask Kenneth. He knows. DOWEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. 'We should apologise. 'You are very welcome. Dowey.' DOWEY. He just pampers me,' waggling her
fists. MRS. TWYMLEY. DOWEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. DOWEY. DOWEY. MRS. TWYMLEY. Dowey.' DOWEY. 'Good luck, cocky.' DOWEY. 'The same to you. 'Old lady.' 'No, no, not yet. 'All is ended.' We were to help one another.' 'Yes, Kenneth.' 'The men have medals to win, you see.' 'The women have their medals, too.' 'Come here. No, I'll come to you.' 'What is it, Kenneth?' 'You're a woman.' I was feared, Kenneth. 'And so you were. Well, the probation's ended.' He laughs uncomfortably. 'Kenneth, will I do?' 'None of your sauce, Kenneth.' 'Not you, sonny, you were a rampaging rogue.' he! he!' She starts up. 'No, no. See here. 'That's the style. Is it wicked, Kenneth?' Have no fear. 'Yes.' 'It would be a good plan if you began the first letter as soon as I've
gone.' 'I will.' 'You may be sure.' 'Old lady, you are what Blighty means to me now.' There is no fire in the
drawing-room, so the family remain on after dinner in the dining-room,
which rather gives them away. It is very important. I am
listening.' 'I hear, John. How thoughtful.' 'I shouldn't wonder, John.' 'You will be pleased to hear, Ellen, that the honourable gentleman then
resumed his seat.' 'That was nice of him.' They are on too good terms to make
an apology necessary. 'Go on being like yourself, dear.' 'Um.' 'You will be nice to him--to-night--won't you, John?' Boys don't like that, John.' 'Is that so, Ellen?' 'Of course I don't mind your being sarcastic to _me_--'
'Much good,' groaning, 'my being sarcastic to you! 'Thank you, my dear.' It is very probably sarcasm. indignantly. 'John, he is only nineteen.' 'That's all,' patting her hand. Rashly, 'I promise.' EMMA. 'Emma, please, don't. 'Oh, John! Do turn round, Rogie. EMMA. ROGER. 'In any case you will--so go ahead, "mater."' ROGER. That is why I was such a time in
coming down.' Don't mind him, Rogie.' ROGER, haughtily, 'I don't.' ROGER. ROGER. ROGER. 'Above all, don't look up.' ROGER. ROGER. 'You know, you have knitted enough things already to fit up my
whole platoon.' EMMA. EMMA. ROGER. 'I shouldn't wonder. Here are some overalls. They have such odd names, too. 'You can try.' You promised.' He takes it from her. 'Correct.' She weeps softly. 'There, there, woman.' 'Night, mammy. 'Night, Rog.' With a groan, 'You know what I am.' 'Do be nice to him, dear.' ROGER. 'No, I remember now. ROGER. ROGER. 'Of course. Didn't you, father?' 'No! He takes her hand. To you, I suppose, it is as if he had never been. ROGER. 'No--no. But I do, Rogie. Then silence falls. You and me!' 'Why not?' 'The 5.20. Indignantly. 'I didn't.' He starts up. Damn. Come back. My fault. Gloomingly, 'No such luck.' 'Me?' Guardedly, 'Often.' We have both
been at it on the sly. 'Mortally, Roger. 'So is mine,' with deep feeling. 'You don't say so!' Same here.' 'Oh, quite. 'No.' 'Who?' Darkly, 'You.' 'Just how I feel.' 'It is. I don't know which it is worse for.' 'You soon shut me up.' 'I have heard that you sparkle more freely in my absence.' 'How did you know that?' 'You don't show it.' 'No.' 'Yes. 'Yes, it does. 'I--I forget.' 'No, I suppose it isn't.' 'Best not to tell her.' 'Yes--yes. 'No thanks,' very stiffly. 'That's all right now. 'How did you know?' 'No.' 'I shouldn't have said it. 'I don't know, I could tell you things that would surprise you.' 'No! Not about yourself?' 'No. 'No--oh no. It was just--you know--the old, old story.' 'I see. 'Not now. 'Yes, yes.' 'I won't.' He makes a wry face. 'You!' 'Funny, isn't it?' 'Lummy, you might have killed yourself.' My friend, you are the head
of the house now.' 'Me? Fudge.' 'It's true. I'll have to be jolly respectful.' 'You've begun, you see. Don't worry, Roger. Gruffly, 'You're all right.' 'If I am, you are.' 'That is really all it is. Earnestly, 'I wouldn't do that.' _We_
know, you and I.' 'That's the ticket, father.' 'Of course you and I know that display of that sort is all
bunkum--repellent even to our natures.' 'But to gratify her.' 'I should be so conscious.' 'So should I.' 'Oh, not far. 'I should be quite casual.' 'Hum. 'Hum. They did it then. 'Yes, I said so. 'Why do you tell it to me?' 'You know, father,
that is barred.' 'You know,' says his monitor. 'My fault,' he says with a groan. He raps out, 'Why
the dickens should I?' 'You, Rogie!' 'That's better,' says Mrs. Torrance at a venture. No, we were only having a good talk.' 'What about, John?' wistfully. 'Yes.' 'You bet,' says Roger valiantly. 'Oh, I--I don't know, father.' * * * * *
'A beautiful morning, Dering.' 'Too much sun, sir. She means well.' They do come back, you
know.' 'No, don't go.' 'Me, sir?' 'Yes, sir. 'That's true.' 'Thank you, Dering, for saying
that.' 'Not that I know of, sir.' I don't know where it is. 'They're all about, sir. 'Is there?' You
were a bit of a nailer at cricket yourself, sir.' It didn't matter where point
stood, I got past him. You used to stand at point, Dering.' 'That was my grandfather, sir. I don't understand it, Dering. The stumps were
left lying about. Why is it?' avidly. 'I should have liked to see that. 'Mr. Not far off, sir. 'I don't know
how we are to make a demure young lady of her.' he is just a colt himself.' 'No, sir. That's all.' There is no soldier here except yourself.' 'Isn't there? Who is ill?' 'No one, sir. Miss Barbara is with her.' 'Is she? 'I have heard of no wedding, sir. But here is Miss Barbara.' 'I did just mention it, miss.' Billy boy.' I am a clumsy.' 'That's better. Thank you, Barbara, very
much.' '_I_ didn't do it. I'm all thumbs. What a ghastly nurse I should
make.' 'Who is she, Barbara?' 'Who is who, dear?' 'Isn't there?' I
thought you went too, Barbara.' 'Not I. 'You and the nurse.' 'Billy is where Karl is, you may be sure.' 'He is where Billy boy is, you may be sure.' 'Not far from where Barbara is, you bet.' They have been down all the
morning at the pool where the alder is, trying to catch that
bull-trout.' 'You can ask them.' BILLY. 'He is, you know.' BILLY. Just yawned and went down.' 'Yawned, did he? KARL. BILLY. 'Not I.' Then he joins in. BARBARA. She joins in. KARL. BILLY. It's this.' I'm very
glad, Barbara.' BARBARA. KARL. 'Yes, at the village church.' BILLY. 'So were my father and mother.' She kissed some of
the furniture.' BILLY. BARBARA. 'No, just the same.' BILLY. BARBARA. KARL. BILLY. 'Yes, I know, I wonder where granny is.' BARBARA. 'It isn't often she leaves you for so long, dear.' BILLY. BARBARA. BARBARA. BILLY. 'Best not to worry him.' BARBARA. BILLY. BARBARA. 'No, dear. BILLY. BARBARA. 'Just those three.' BILLY. BILLY. 'Odd.' She is the one for you.' 'She is the one for me.' KARL. BARBARA. 'Of course she would.' KARL. They are often not pretty at other times, but they are all
pretty on their wedding day.' KARL. BARBARA. 'I do believe I see it all. BILLY. 'Bravo, Barbara, you've got it.' BARBARA. KARL. BARBARA. 'What is it, dear?' BARBARA. BILLY. BARBARA. 'She was smiling.' BARBARA. 'Of course she was.' BARBARA. There's
no wedding.' He is very glad to see his wife coming to him
through the open window. 'I have come back, John,' she says, smiling tranquilly on him. 'No, not long, Ellen. 'Yes, it was to a wedding.' 'Tell me, Ellen.' 'Yes, it was Barbara's wedding. 'Yes, I know. I'm all right when you are with me, Ellen. Funny, isn't
it?' 'It _is_ funny, John. I ran
back to you, John. 'Tell me all about it, Ellen. I'll see about that.' He rises. That's it, is it? 'Our gardener, you know.' 'Is it? That is why there is no more cricket on the
green.' 'Oh, John!' She nods. Tell me, tell
me!' She nods again. 'Good for Billy boy. Don't cry, Ellen. 'Yes, I know, John.' He comes
here. He is a captain.' 'He is a very gallant man, John. We have a medal he got, haven't we?' 'That was the thing to do, Ellen. Nice of you. He is worthy of her.' They have only a few days' leave. She is
in France, too, you know. 'You will be nice to them, John, won't you, and wish them luck? They have their trials before them.' He is very pleased, 'Leave it all to me, Ellen. You just watch me.' 'Congratulations, Barbara. Excuse me, young man.' They are leaving in an hour, John.' the Captain says, smiling. 'No, certainly not. 'We won't go there, dear.' 'Splendidly. I was proud of you.' He exults. I can be very sly, you know, at times. There is no boy now, you see.' He is very
amusing. 'You are laughing too, Ellen. A man's voice breaks in. 'In any case, Mrs. Don, it is extraordinary. 'Of course, Major, these are the simplest manifestations. They are only
the first step. 'Certainly we can, dear. MRS. DON. ROGERS. MRS. DON. 'Don't talk, please. The table moves. The table moves. 'Yes. ROGERS. 'We leave it to you, Mrs. Don.' MRS. DON. Yes. Yes. Yes. Is it B?' Yes. No. Yes.' Yes.' LAURA. MRS. DON. LAURA. MRS. DON. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. The table moves. 'FA. Fa----?' Yes.' MRS. DON. ROGERS. MAJOR. ROGERS. 'But we are only on the threshold, Don. LAURA. MR. DON. LAURA. 'He said it was.' MRS. DON. MR. DON. MRS. DON. ROGERS. Ask him.' MR. DON, forlornly, 'As to that--as to that----'
MRS. DON. 'I will ask him if you wish me to, Robert.' MR. DON. 'No, don't.' ROGERS. MR. DON. ROGERS. 'He won't. Will he, Mrs. Don?' I'm too old, perhaps.' MR. DON. 'I'll go.' MRS. DON. The table moves. 'Yes. Yes. Yes.' MR. DON. 'No, no, don't.' ROGERS. 'It would be all right, Don.' MR. DON. 'I don't know.' MRS. DON. 'Yes, yes, Laura dear. ROGERS. Don.' MAJOR. 'Same here. Rather
not. Thanks, awfully.' ROGERS. MR. DON. Good-night, Major.' She is not angry. 'That's all right, Grace.' 'Why not, Grace?' 'I don't know.' 'Yes, perhaps.' He breaks down. 'I have come to sit with you for a bit, father.' 'It's me all right, father. We don't like that.' 'You haven't altered, Dick.' 'Rather not. 'I'll try, I'll try. 'Me?' 'We can only come to one, you see.' 'That's the reason.' 'Me? I go to the
club. 'We like that.' He speaks coaxingly. 'I've tried to.' No, that's the wrong sleeve. Thanks, Dick.' 'Here, let me shove you into your old seat.' 'When I was a kid.' 'Till you fell off.' 'On top of you and the palette.' But soon,
'Ah, Dick.' 'That's better. I'll sit here.' 'I don't--I don't seem to care to smoke nowadays, Dick.' I won't
have it, you know. 'Yes, Dick,' the old man says obediently. That's the style. Not so
bad. That's you. Like it?' Dick, you and me by the fire!' 'Face. How is Fido?' 'Oh,' frowning. As if I were there!' 'Let me guess. No, you weren't there. It was quite a surprise to me.' 'Oh, Dick!' Oh, I forgot. 'Tell me,' very humbly; 'tell me, Dick.' 'All right.' 'I know where.' 'Yes.' It's
jolly decent of them.' 'Tell me, Dick, about the--the veil. Yes, like a mist. I am not boring you, am I?' Sort of fluke, you know.' That's the way of it. 'Dick, I like that Ockley.' 'Rather. He laughs boisterously. 'That's the card. 'She was very fond of him, Dick.' 'Oh, I expect no end. 'She knows.' That isn't the joke, though. Sorry, father. 'Let me look at you again, Dick. There is
such a serenity about you now.' 'I'll try.' But, after all, it was my show. Now, you
tell me some things.' 'What about, Dick? 'No,' almost in a shout. 'The Germans.' 'Oh yes. Come on, it's your turn. It works
all right.' 'I'll see to it.' He is moving about the room. 'Very sad about you, Dick.' 'It isn't so easy, my boy.' 'If you are sad, I have to be sad. 'I can't do that, father. I can only come to one.' 'Oh, I don't know. 'Is she? She is not dressed in black, is she?' 'No, in white.' 'Surely, Dick.' 'It's too bad, you know.' I expect that is about
how it was with her, too.' 'She is very broken about you now.' 'Rather not. 'Of course. 'To me? What is it
doing here?' 'I don't--know that it was a game, Dick.' 'Good for Laura.' 'To me? No; why should it?' 'I should like to know it. I say, do tell me, Dick.' 'He is pretty touchy about it now, you know.' Come on, Dick.' 'You will speak to her, Dick. Let her hear your voice.' 'I can't give you up, Dick.' 'I called to you, Robert.' 'What is it, Robert? Please, I don't want to hear it.' 'What is it, Robert?' 'No. 'Really, Robert!' 'I don't know.' 'That's all right. Don.' Dick speaks. I want to look at
you.' Shyly, 'Am I all right?' It is Dick who answers. 'You're awfully pretty, Laura. 'I expect he would, my dear.' 'Mr. I'm sorry, Laura.' 'What is it,
Laura?' 'There, there! That will be all right, quite all right.' He takes her to
the door. Don.' 'Oh, Dick! 'Yes, Dick.' 'No, I--'
'You must.' 'All right, Dick, I will.' 'I'll get it cut, Dick.' 'No. 'Don't ask it, father.' 'It is this. 'Yes. But, remember, I'm young at it.' he cries, next moment. 'How did you get it, Dick?' 'I'm not sure.' 'Me? No.' 'No. How could we?' Dick!' 'Be bright, father.'